Mirrors
by Torn By Words
Summary: Looking in the mirror left her in disgust. Only the scale could determine her worth. How long would it take until someone noticed that she wasn't eating?
1. Yellow Bikini

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek.

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Waking up from a beautiful dream was always something Casey disliked. Especially since the dream was about her handsome ex-boyfriend, Max. For the first time in her life, Casey McDonald was becoming more of a dreamer than a do-er. Dreaming about him gave her happiness. A happiness she couldn't find when she was awake. Even more, she disliked being awakened by her alarm clock. The harsh beeping noise screamed into her ears, causing her to groan loudly. Casey moved her hand onto the button to turn the noise off. After doing so, she stared at the alarm clock. _10am_. Just a little early for a Saturday; except today was different. The Venturi-McDonald clan was going to the beach.

Having a good feeling about the day, despite her slightly early awakening, she rolled out of bed and onto her feet. Hanging from her computer chair was the yellow bikini she planned on wearing. Stripping off her pink pajamas and underwear, she picked up the bikini bottoms, and slipped them on. After doing this, she looked in the mirror. Even just from putting the bottoms on, she could already see that it was too small. When had she outgrown it? The last time she went swimming was a few months ago. Would this be from a delay on exercise, perhaps, or over-eating? Her breasts had become somewhat larger, also. Examining this further, she tied on the bikini top. Obvious cleavage slipped out. Seeming disappointed, she sighed and pulled a beach bag out from under her bed. Walking around the room with the bag in her hand, she picked up her black sunglasses and put them in the bag. _That's all I really need from my room, I guess. Mom will be providing towels and sunscreen._ Slipping on her flip flops, she then opened the door and walked downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Hey." She said to the room. Everyone was in there, dressed in swimsuits and ready to go.

"Wake up late much, Space Case? We've been waiting for twenty minutes." Derek said, looking at her attire. "Yellow… how very you."

"She should've worn purple!" Marti said in her overly-loud voice. She always had to add _something_ to the conversation.

She gave Derek an irritated look. Trying to think of what to retort back, she couldn't. He looked perfect in his navy blue swim trunks. His tan chest had just the right amount of muscle. Even his arms looked spectacular. Playing hockey has done him well.

Getting lost in the sight of him, she shook it off and turned around, disgusted for even thinking that way about Derek, her step-brother, the egotistical jerk.

"Derek, be nice to your step-sister." Nora said, giving him a warning look. "Casey, you look fine."

"Let's just go." Casey said, turning around, suddenly irritated. _When has Derek ever treated me like a sister?_ Nora and George, sensing her mood, walked ahead and opened the front door.

"Onto the beach!" George cheered, walking outside with Nora by his side, with Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti screeching with excitement behind them. Casey followed them, with Derek walking behind her.

As soon as everyone was in the car, George started the engine, and began to drive. Casey then noticed that her and Derek were sitting right next to each other. She glanced at him, all of a sudden feeling self-conscience in her bikini. Derek didn't seem to notice her looking at him, since he was lost in the music coming from his earphones. Casey looked down at her body, counting the flaws. The food in the house had been getting a little fattier, thanks to Derek and his stupid junk food. Luckily for him, he burned off the calories while playing hockey. Casey, however, wasn't in ballet anymore and hadn't been exercising to her cliché pop songs, like she used to when she first moved in. Being towards the end of the school year, homework increases and well, you know how studying for exams can be. Being the keener she was, studying and doing homework was something that needed to be done.

Just by looking down, she noticed that her stomach wasn't as toned as it used to be. Frowning, she rested her head on the window, and closed her eyes. She was beginning to regret going with her family to the beach. Attempting to clear her thoughts, they kept coming back. Finally, sleep took over her.

Derek glanced at her, curving his lips into a small smile.

* * *

The long drive wearing on, Casey awoke with Derek's head on her shoulder. It appeared that he had fallen asleep also. Her heart leaped when she realized that the family could have noticed that he was actually using her shoulder as a pillow. She looked up. Marti was talking to Edwin and Lizzie, and her mom and George were arguing about directions. Slightly peeved at the fact that Derek put his head on her shoulder just to annoy her, and get his mass of hair in her face, she nudged him off of her. Derek felt himself being moved off of her, and woke up. He growled, and looked at Casey. She smirked. Derek rolled his eyes, nudged her back, and turned his body away from her.

Casey straightened herself in her seat, more awake than before, and called to the front seat, "Are we almost there?"

Nora looked back, "Five minutes and we'll be there!" She said.

The next five minutes consisted of Derek singing loudly to his music, Casey fuming at his vocals, the other three siblings talking about the possibility of sharks being at the beach, and George driving while Nora stayed silent.

Finally, George parked next to the sea wall. Casey scrambled out of her seat, and opened the door, peeking her head out. It was semi-crowded, with plenty of thin blondes to spare. Casey sighed. Suddenly, she felt Derek push her out of the car. She quickly caught her balance, almost tripping.

"Klutzilla returns." Derek said, looking at her with a sly smile.

This was going to be a long day.

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It's going to get darker within a few chapters. I'll be updating quite soon :)


	2. Taking Control

**I decided to update quick, since I got such nice reviews. :)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek.

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Before her was a blue sky surrounded by puffy white clouds. The sun rays hit her tanning body. This time, Casey hadn't cared to put on sun block. Every time she did, she ended up with no color at the end of the day. In the distance, Derek was talking to a tanned platinum blonde girl. She smiled at every word he said, and he seemed to be checking her out. Her body was toned, which was surprising since her breasts were quite large, developing more cleavage in her bikini top than Casey's own. While Derek and the blonde chatted, some more of the girl's friends seemed to want to join the discussion. Or maybe they thought Derek was hot. Who knows.

Next to Casey, Lizzie was reading a book with no cover. What the book was about was none of Casey's interest at the moment. Edwin kept bugging Lizzie, trying to take her interest off of her book. "Come on Lizzie, let's get in the water! You can read books at home." Edwin begged.

Lizzie glanced off the page, and at Edwin. He was wearing noticeably small swimsuit trunks. "Edwin, why are you trunks so short?" Lizzie asked him, seeming a little embarrassed about the question. He seemed embarrassed too. Struggling with the answer, he said, "Well, they were short when I put them on…"

Casey decided to cut in. "It's because he's going through puberty. He's growing out of his old clothes. Namely in this case, his swim trunks."

He looked at her. "What about you? Your suit seems small too. I mean your top..." Edwin said, staring at her chest.

_Can everyone really notice the weight I've gained?_

Casey got up and walked away, frustrated. Lizzie sighed and glanced at Edwin.

"What?!" Edwin yelled. "Casey looks hot."

Lizzie scoffed. "She's your step-sister!"

"I'm going through puberty, remember? Can't help hormones." He said, looking at Lizzie.

Casey walked along the beach, looking around. Once she caught Derek's eye, he looked away. _Figures he'd ignore me. _

In the water, George and Nora were splashing water around, acting like a couple, with Marti next to them.

_Figures everyone would ignore me._

Sitting down beside the water, she began to stare at Derek again. Just looking at him, sort of wet from the water, his hair tousled from the wind, flirting with a bunch of girls at once, began to arouse some sort of a feeling in her.

_Ugh. What am I thinking?_ She looked away from Derek, and at the sand. _In my condition, no guy could think of me that way. My thighs… my stomach… it's all—_

"Hey Casey!" Derek yelled, dumping a bucket of water on her. Casey screeched. She could clearly taste the water, and it was ocean water.

"Der-ek!" she screamed, and began to run after him. The direction he was running in was away from everyone else.

Once there no one else in the way, Casey tackled him. Derek attempted to get up, but she kept him down. They were both laughing, until Derek said, "Jeez Case, you're heavy."

Her smile went down into a frown. She quickly got off of him, and looked away.

Derek looked confused. Casey's mood went from giggling and playful to morose.

He slowly got up, and touched her shoulder. "Space Case, you hungry?"

_Yes._

"No, I'm fine." Casey said flatly. Then she began walking back to her blanket. Derek followed her. Once she sat down, she fished into her beach bag for her black sunglasses, and put them on. Derek was staring at her as she laid down.

"You know, Casey, you don't have to get pissed off so easily." Derek said, opening the wrapper to his Subway sandwich.

"Whatever." She said, gulping down some water.

"Seriously, since when do you ignore me and stay quiet when I piss you off?"

_Since you called me fat._

"I'm not ignoring you. Just relaxing." Casey replied, closing her eyes.

Derek continued eating his sandwich. Spying a brunette in the distance, he got up and walked away.

A small tear rolled down her cheek.

_He's tired of me. He thinks I'm ugly…_

_I wish I could control my life._

Casey sniffled, and brushed the tear off.

_You know what…_

_That's exactly what I'm going to start doing. Taking control._

_No more dreaming about what I want._

_I'm going to live the dream._

Getting up, Casey began to run down the beach. After awhile, the run developed into a slow jog. _You can do better than that._ She picked up the speed.

Minutes later, she was lying in the sand, breathing in and out.

"What—do I get tired that fast?"

After taking a few last breaths, she got up, and began a run back towards her beach blanket. Around her blanket was the whole family. Once Casey sat down, most of them greeted her. She smiled at them.

* * *

Once the day had ended, they shuffled back into the car, and George drove them home. Casey and Derek actually stayed awake during the drive, while the other siblings fell asleep. The day had given Casey a revelation. Why let those other girls at the beach have a better body than her, when Casey could have the best? During these thoughts, Casey hadn't noticed that Derek's foot was touching her own. While she didn't, Derek certainly did notice.

When they had gotten home, it was 8pm. Getting anxious, Nora unlocked the front door, and Casey ran quickly up the stairs and into the bathroom. She stripped off her bikini, and turned the shower faucet on. While she let it get warm, she got onto the scale. _131 lb._

_Well, I can certainly do better than that, can't I?_

Casey got into the shower.

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I appreciate reviews! The more I get, the faster I update. :D


	3. Purge

**Things get a little heavy in this chapter, as you can see by the chapter title.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek.

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After getting out of the shower, Casey laid down on her bed, her stomach hungry. She hadn't eaten anything all day. Nora and George figured that she ate the Subway sandwich they had brought along for her, but really Derek had eaten it after finishing his own sandwich. The hunger in her stomach was quite painful, but at the same time, the pain felt good. The thought was one day she would be able to walk proudly around the beach with thighs that don't touch, thin arms, and a perfectly flat stomach made her happy and willing to go on. Besides, she had to keep busy. Not eating actually gave her more opportunity to study for exams, which she would be taking quite soon. She pulled out the chemistry review packet and began to scan it. Casey already knew all of this. Same with all her other subjects. Sighing, she stared at the ceiling. _I can't just not eat. I'll die. _

Getting out of bed, she began her research. She ended up finding plenty of ways to curb her hunger and still eat something, no matter how little.

_One whole apple for the day._

_Cut it into four parts._

_Breakfast, Lunch, Snack, Dinner._

_Well, I do like apples._

An hour later, still awake and restless, Casey was hungrier than ever. An image of a cheeseburger was in her mind. It practically had her mouth watering. _Stop thinking like that! Besides, we don't have any cheeseburgers in the house._ Flipping onto her stomach, she could feel the emptiness pulsing against her. _But we do have lasagna…_

She did it. The lasagna was sitting in her stomach. Not to mention she had drank some whole milk. What else could she do, but binge? She was so hungry. Defeated, she ran up stairs and into the bathroom. What was Casey going to do, weigh herself? _I'm too afraid. I'm a coward. I'm a fat cow._ The feeling of being full was making her sick. Could she get rid of it? _Purge._ It would ruin her perfect teeth if it was made a habit of. _But, it would get rid of this disgusting food inside of me. _Casey looked in the mirror. _Imagine how different I'd look if I did._ Slowly moving her hand towards the lock on the door, she turned it. No one would see her. No one would know. All they would know is that she was on her way to being beautiful.

In fear of leaving the evidence on herself, she grabbed a hair tie off of the counter and pulled her hair back. Leaning over the toilet, she stuck her index and middle finger down her throat. Nothing would happen, but she was gagging. Suddenly, it happened. Gross discoloration of her food was falling into the toilet. It felt horrible. When she was done, she flushed the toilet.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she felt guilty. _I shouldn't have eaten in the first place. I don't want to do this again._ _If my mom knew about this…_

She sunk to the floor of the bathroom, and cried silently into her hands. Pain was stabbing her all over. _What happened to the innocent, thin person I used to be? Now I'm a fat, wannabe cheerleader, with no boyfriend. I actually purged my food._

Getting up, her legs wobbling, she unlocked the door and went into her room. Her clock read _1am_. She walked against the harsh surface of her carpet, and met the wonderful softness of her bed. Her pajamas seeming to be getting in the way of the softness, she took them off. Flipping onto her stomach again, she embraced how empty and light she felt. Not wanting to leave the feeling, she let it drift away as she fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

She heard noise around her. Derek was in there, looking quite bored with a breakfast tray in his hands. Casey opened her eyes. She sat up in her bed, with her comforter and sheets covering her naked body. He carefully walked over, not wanting to spill the orange juice on the breakfast tray.

"Nora forced me to bring this up." He stated, placing the tray on her bedside table.

"I don't want it." She said in her groggy voice.

"Casey, just eat the food." He said harshly, noticing her bare shoulders. "You sleep naked?"

"Not usually…" Casey replied, wondering why he even cared.

He smirked, and turned to walk out.

Once the door was closed, she stared at the food. "I obviously can't eat this… This is bacon, eggs, and toast. Fat, fat, and fat."

Not knowing what else to do, Casey dumped the food into the trash can. _I have to remember to take it out so it doesn't stink up my room._

Getting out of bed, she walked over to her closet, passing the mirror. She wasn't in the mood to look at her own flesh this morning. Scanning her clothes, she found some skinny jeans and a blue blouse. Casey quickly put the clothes on and then walked downstairs. In the kitchen, Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti where having cereal. _Pure sugar, much?_

Reaching into the basket of fruit, she grabbed an apple. Then, with a knife, she cut the red apple into four parts. She then ate one of the slices. _Mmm._

"Casey, why are you having an apple for breakfast?" asked Lizzie. She looked at Lizzie. "I enjoy eating apples." Casey replied.

"Right." Lizzie said, giving Edwin a look. Edwin decided not to add his two cents.

Finishing the slice, Casey glanced at Derek, who was walking into the kitchen.

"Derek, could you give me a ride to the mall?" Casey asked shyly.

Derek just stopped in his tracks, and gave her an annoyed look. "After I brought up your breakfast this morning? Get real. Besides, what's in it for me?"

Not knowing what else to do, Casey brought out her arms. "A hug?"

Derek laughed, "Yeah, like I'm hugging _you_."

_What, my arms too fat to wrap around you?_

Looking kind of hurt by his comment, she added, "Please?"

Derek looked at her pout. "Fine! But no more favors after this." He said, obviously annoyed. Great Sunday morning. Taking _Casey_ to the mall.

She smiled, and walked towards the stairs. "Thanks! I'll be ready to leave in five minutes."

Jogging up the stairs, she headed towards the bathroom. In the bathroom, Casey stepped onto the scale. The few seconds she had to wait built up her tension. _129 lb, _it finally read.

Irritation washed over her. _After eating nothing but an apple slice, only two pounds are gone?_

Casey groaned, and walked out of the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, she was in the car with Derek.

"So, what are you going to the mall for?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

"If it's any of your business, I'm going shopping." Casey replied, thinking of the type of outfits she would buy. _Would a skirt look okay on me anymore?_

"Where, Old Navy?" Derek asked, knowing that Casey hated that store.

"No, their clothes are huge." She said, not all too shocked that Derek even mentioned Old Navy. Back when she was skinny, the family had gone there to shop one time. Lizzie, Edwin, Nora, and Derek where there. Every shirt she tried on looked huge on her. Derek found it pretty funny.

"Exactly."

Casey decided to ignore all of Derek's comments from now on. He was quite unaware of her willpower, while she was quite unaware that he never meant any insult towards her.

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If you want me to continue, review and let me know :)


	4. Skill

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Thank you for the nice reviews! Here's another chapter :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek.

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He parked the car. After a twenty minute drive, they were in the parking lot of the mall. This mall was quite large. Despite this, in the parking lot not many cars surrounded them. It was Sunday, so the stores closed at 6pm; because of this, not many people were at the mall. Casey unbuckled her seat belt, and turned her body towards Derek. "Thank you. I know this isn't how you pictured your Sunday morning." She said kindly.

Derek smirked at her. "It's okay; it being the day before school, my Sunday's are usually this lame anyway." He said coolly.

Casey sighed. "So you don't want to come in with me?"

"And go shopping? With my step-sister? No thanks." Derek said flatly.

Casey rolled her eyes, and opened the door. Stepping out of the car, she suddenly began to get dizzy. "Whoa. What a head rush—" Casey said dizzily. Walking forward to see if she would be able to see anything, she tripped over the pavement, hitting the car next to them. It was quite a mystery why the car alarm didn't go off.

Derek quickly got out of the car, and walked over to Casey, who was looking confused over what just happened. "I all of a sudden got dizzy." She said, while Derek helped her stand up. His hands where softer than she thought they would be.

"Space Case, you need to stop acting like such a ditz, or you could get hurt." Derek said, with a hint of concern in his voice.

Casey just looked at him, dumbfounded. _He didn't call me Klutzilla._

"Whatever, it's so humid out. I'm surprised that you didn't get a head rush as well." Casey exclaimed, turning around to leave.

Derek just watched her walk away, examining her curly brown hair bouncing on her back, until she opened the doors and went into the mall. He smiled, shaking his head. "What am I going to do with her?"

* * *

Once she was in the mall, Casey felt surrounded. Though there weren't many people there today, the participants that were there all seemed to have food in there hands! Temptation was everywhere, especially on her way to Forever 21. Right near her favorite store was the food court! Trying to avoid the smells of burgers, cheese, pizza, baking cookies, and fries, she sped past the court, and into the entrance of Forever 21. The sparkling white floor greeted her, along with the nearest employee. "Hello! Welcome to Forever 21. Could I help you find something?" the woman asked kindly. "No, I'm fine." Casey said, flashing a smile. The woman nodded, and walked away, greeting other customers.

Casey walked over to the jeans rack. The majority of them were skinny jeans. Some of them were even colored brightly. Scanning the clothing racks, her eyes fell on some purple skinny jeans. _Yeah, like I could pull those off._ She continued to look for jeans that appealed to her. Finally, Casey found a pair of jeans that she liked. _Simple, light, slightly faded. I'll try them on._ Selecting a Size 4 in these jeans, she walked slowly over to the dressing room area. In front of Casey was another employee. "How many?" the employee asked, sounding monotonous. "One." Casey told her, holding out the jeans. The woman directed her into a dark, empty dressing room with a large blue curtain. Casey walked in, and closed the curtain.

Casey slipped off her flip flops into the corner of the dressing room, and looked in the mirror. _I hope they fit._ She took off the jeans she was wearing, and picked up the jeans she had selected. Gulping, Casey put her legs through the pant legs, and pulled the jeans up. Zipping and buttoning them, she examined herself in the mirror.

_So I'm a Size 4._

She turned around, and felt them tighten against her body.

"They're a little small." She pointed out to herself. _But if I buy them a little small, I'll have more to work towards. Perhaps a week from now, they won't be 'a little small'._

Casey stepped out of the blue-curtained dressing room grinning, the jeans she was about to purchase in hand. She walked towards the cashier, ready to pay for them. Thankfully, there was only one person ahead of her in line. She was thin and had a bob haircut. Casey examined her hair. _I wonder how that would look on me._ Distracted by her thoughts, she hadn't noticed that it was her turn to pay, until the person behind her nudged her. "Sorry." Casey said, seeming a little embarrassed. Handing the jeans to the cashier, the woman scanned the price tag.

"Your total is 38.99."

Fishing into her wallet, Casey paid the woman. Grabbing the yellow bag holding her jeans, she exited the store.

Quite exhausted, she began to dial Derek's number. It rang a few times, and he answered. "Pick me up?" She asked.

* * *

Casey had spent twenty-five minutes waiting in front of the mall. Getting exhausted, she sunk against the dirty wall. Realizing that her clean hair was being buried in germs, she screeched, "Ew!" Irritated, Casey got up and looked into the parking lot. Finally, the car with Derek in the front seat emerged from the distance and parked in front of the mall. Casey began to run over, but stopped, due to her stomach starting to hurt. _So hungry._

She opened the car door and sat down. "Hey Casey." Derek greeted, with his tone quite different than when he had dropped her off at the mall. She looked at him. "Hey…" She said, distracted. _Fuck… I have to eat something._

It seemed as though Derek had read her mind. "Case, do you wanna get something to eat?"

_A nice juicy burger. With fries. And nice tomato ketchup. Mmm._

Her hunger began to mask her dreams of being skinny. "Yes." Casey replied, sounding quite urgent. Derek smirked. "Hungry, eh?"

She gave him a stern look.

"Hey, hey. I know where you're coming from. Girls gotta eat!" He said, using some sort of strange accent.

"Just drive." She demanded, still looking stern.

Sitting in the drive way of Burger King, Casey unwrapped the burger she had ordered. _Sesame seed bun, nicely grilled meat, ketchup, fresh green lettuce, juicy tomatoes, and sweet, savory mayonnaise. _She stared at her burger. Her starvation plan was being thrown out the window. The burger just looked so delightful.

Derek took notice of her staring at the burger. "You're supposed to eat it." He pointed out, his own burger in his right hand.

Casey didn't have the strength to reply. Her remaining strength was being used to going to consume the burger.

She took a large, hearty bite. As she chewed, all the flavors excited her. "So good!"

Derek looked at Casey strangely. "Why are you getting excited about eating a burger?" He asked her, looking puzzled.

"I hadn't eaten all day!" Casey exclaimed, her mouth full, obviously not thinking about what she had said.

He still looked puzzled. "Yeah you did. I brought you breakfast this morning..."

She just looked down, looking somewhat guilty. "I wasn't hungry." Casey simply said.

Derek threw his crumbled up wrapper out the window. "So you did what, throw it away?" He asked, obviously angry.

Casey heard the morose in his angry voice. _Derek, sad? _

Then she realized.

"Oh, Derek! You must have made me breakfast." Casey shouted, sounding enlightened. "But why—"

Derek began fuming. "Just finish the burger on the way home. I don't want to have to wait on your slow ass to finish it."

He put the car in gear, and got back onto the highway.

* * *

Casey had finished the burger alright. And the fries. The guilt was getting to her, even after she got home. She didn't even want to look at the scale. Instead, she laid on her bed, confined in her room. _It's all Derek's fault! For making me eat._

_Yet, he had made me breakfast. Why would he even give me food so many times today when I'm so porky. Does he live to see me getting fatter? To torment me?_

She averted her eyes to the trash can. "Oh, right. The breakfast he had made me."

Getting up from her bed, she walked over to the trash can. It sort of smelled.

Wrinkling her nose, Casey picked up the trash bag, and walked through her door. Heading down stairs, she was going to dispose of it in the kitchen trash can.

Opening the lid, she heard a noise. Derek was also in there, drinking juice out of the container.

For some reason, Derek looked quite different at this moment. He was being his usual self, drinking out of the container, but something was different.

"Derek, I—"

He interrupted, and pointed at the trash bag she was holding. "The breakfast I made, eh?"

She looked down, ashamed, and then glanced back up at him. Derek kept his eyes locked on her. "Well, all I know is that's the last time I do anything for anyone." He stated flatly, and walked out.

Casey bit her lip, and put the breakfast filled trash bag into the trash can.

Also, she noticed that three apple slices were on the counter.

_I'm not eating anything after that burger. And it's too late to purge it._

Feeling completely defeated, Casey walked upstairs to her room.

Closing the door, she stripped off her clothes. She dared to look in the mirror. Her body looked somewhat tan. Her thin physique looked beautiful under the glow of her pink and yellow lamp lights in her room.

_How did I let this happen. _She squeezed the small layer of fat on her stomach.

_I can see the burger sitting in my stomach. God, it's revolting._

_Tomorrow I won't lose control. After all, thin is a skill._

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I hope that yall enjoyed this chapter okay. :) I'll be updating very soon. Please review!


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